Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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