In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
