I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
