Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
