why didn't you poke me back
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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