He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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