Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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