if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
