Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
