tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
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Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
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And my parents said I crawled through the house
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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