Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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