Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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