How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
