Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
