Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
