Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
