Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
