We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
