this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
