He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
