She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
