I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
