I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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