On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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