Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
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I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
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Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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