So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
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I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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