Apparently you make a good broom.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
