dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
