Jerry, you need to find god
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
