we're blogging at a bar
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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