my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
