ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he fucked my hip out of place.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
