I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
