sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
