FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
