He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
