He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
