No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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