How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
