About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
