i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
