Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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