We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
