Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
