I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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