I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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