Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
