im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
