can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
