I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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