mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
