she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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