Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf