guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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