i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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