dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
