i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
