I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
