You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
