Well douche your snatch and let's go!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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