all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
