Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
