Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
